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Evo-Webs Most Memorable...

CW

C Dub
Founding Member
6 October 2001
Liverpool
...Members.

The site has been running for about 4 years now and I thought why not acknowledge all those members who we all know and remember, be it through the decent things they posted or the random shite. Some of them are still with us but some of them have buggered off to do something more productive with their lives (Sometimes because we banned them)

1. Zico – Probably Off Topics most notorious member, he was the guy who loved to use the Green Smiley even if the topic didn’t actually require a response. I deleted all his posts in a bid to remove any ghost that existed though on researching this feature I have found that we have a new Zico who registered on the 1st of April and, as of yet, hasn’t posted. Maybe we should have retired the name in his honour.

2. ZZZZ Vapour – The guy joined about a month after the site started and for a long time was a perfectly normal poster until one day he just went mental. His final few posts will be remembered for a long time, as will his XBOX bias.
Here are a few of his final posts in all their “Why was he banned?” glory
Because the english are human and the french eat frogs and snails!!!!!!!!!!....Red cards for the inbred i say is right!!!!!
Smith is just a workhorse, nothing more he's fucking shit. I mean the soft bastard has more red cards than goals.
I was in scotland last week, I'm not giving them stick i'm being serious!!! FFS some geezer was adamant that rob roy was real!!!! :shock: :shock:

I'M BEING SERIOUS. :l
I am sure we all miss him on some level. Even the Scots.

3. KingKeane – It makes me shudder just typing that name again. The lad was a complete asshole who didn’t see anything wrong with the constant racist shite he posted, he has been back many times under many different names but we all remember the original. Here are some of his posts so you can reminisce and remember why we kept on kicking him out.
What a shame, all I have on file is a post from him but on one of the many times he re-registered and its pointless so we wont even bother.

4. Yeoc – Those who were here at the start of this site should remember this guy. He had a certain way with words, lets say that he used more than he needed to. If there was an easy way to say something then this guy didn’t know how to. Kind of like this paragraph here, waffling on with no real point. Again there are no quotes from this guy as he was here before the site moved but, believe me, if you missed him then you are the lucky one.

5. GunnerGlory – Now we move onto possibly the 2nd most banned member on Evo-Web, the guy at number 3 in this list beats him by quite a way. What can I about Gunner that hasn’t already been said……. I knew this was going to be a struggle. That hes a level headed individual with a lot of class who doesn’t drink…ever. I don’t think that has ever been said. Lets move onto some of this members quotes, of which there are many, I will pick 3 at random
Blue blood runs through your veins yeah and I'm sure no gip flows through your ballsack, its self-explanatory, look at the fucking threads, its all a heap of shite. Nobody has any fucking spark to them except me Cal and Joost, everyone knows it, its always been that way, and always wont if all the rest of the drips have anything to do with it.
We all know all about you now Thomas! La baguette dans la derriere!! Its over for you and your famille.
Chris Wrights panties from a wild night out in Rennes. After a crate of Chateau 45 Chardonnay at the hotel we went out and danced shirtless to Europop classics in various gay bars with strap-ons and glowsticks. We picked up a third member Pierre and headed back to the hotel with 3 bottles of Dom Perignon and a 10 box of Cubans. The rest is history.
Yes, they all seem slightly random but that’s the kind of fella he is.

6. fd1972uk and ClassicD – Yes I know that’s technically 2 members but they both support a team called Celtic and are both Scottish, for me that’s enough to bung them both together. Both fiercely defensive of their team, domestically and internationally despite Scotland not being that great a team. There is one thing that separates them though, Classic is very much into his PES/WE Editing and FD just about manages to figure out how to turn on his PC let alone bugger about with anything technical. Here are a few quotes from both of these forum leg ends, I will let you figure out who said what
Anyone ave any problems with FM 5.0.5. with it just crashing to desktop when I try to start a game up? :(
FD
Oh FFS, get a grip. You Mods are giving it 'Oh, we can't do anything right, but you lot are moaning'.
Bet you can't wait Frazer, you're such an Umbro fan!
Use Isobuster to open your existing image, extract the entire thing to a folder on your PC. Edit the AFS in whatever way you see fit (DKZ Studio allows importing of bigger files). Open Nero, make sure your selected burning device is 'Image Recorder'. Choose a new project, burn as 'DVD-ROM (UDF/ISO)' (Bottom option on mine). No Multisession and uncheck the 'Joilet' box. Hit burn and at the point you'd usually be asked to insert a disc it'll ask where you want to save it. By default it tries to save as an NRG image, you can change it to ISO by using the menu/drop-down box at the bottom of the save as window, when it asks you this.

Oh yes, you'll have two windows in Nero, simply drag all the files you extracted to that folder earlier (which now include an updated AFS) from the right-hand window into the left.
I know, its tough to pick them out aint it!

7. Joostebrood – Gunners right hand, yes the one that scratches his nuts. For some reason the guy got Gunner to send him a burger through the post to him, is it just me or is there something not right with that? I don’t know whether his drug taking earlier in life that had some profound effect on him or whether its because hes Dutch, or maybe its both of those things together. Who are we to judge though, really? Lets see what random shit I can find for this fella.
I think Juventus11 is the most annoying member ever, I wish I could censor him.
Try some Viagra John
I agree, watching him is the closest feeling to being gay for me.
I think that about says it all, I can add nothing more to that.

8. Brian Candel – AKA many other things during the life of the site but I really cant be arsed going through and working out all his aliases. This is the guy who started Evo-Web and managed to recruit me from another forum before going off to learn stuff (Get drunk, take drugs and get laid) at University. When he left for Uni he decided to leave the site in the capable hands of Mart, Kezz and myself so it could have been worse. Let me see what I can find from this guy
A big thanks to Mart for sorting out the site, it looks great i think we can all agree :)
Y know what i have never realised you could click that either.
no i just couldnt be arsed to type properly. i get like this sometimes.
Sometimes clueless but he will always be the guy who saved me from website obscurity.

9. Violated Gerbil – The one and only rodent on the forums, he pops in here every now and again to spout some crap before buggering off to fornicate with Mrs Gerbil. I cant remember seeing him recently but no doubt now I have mentioned him he will pop up again. Checking back, his last post was back in September so maybe he is currently hibernating or he has died, we all know that gerbils don’t live very long so maybe he is now up in animal heaven having his way with as many animals as possible, no matter what the size. Here are some of his posts
Bollocks. I disagree. :shock:
Alright my little Evo-Web bunnies!

How's things going? I hope you are all miserable.
Fuck PS2 and Fuck you.

GameCube rocks!
As you can see from that the lad seemed to have some major issues.

10. ChrisDavies – This lad seemed to take the loss of the original Off Topic forum badly, so badly I think he may have considered taking his own life. Actually on checking it seems he has moved onto posting in the main forums as well as the new OT. The original OT seemed to be the place where Chris spilt the inner workings of his mind, from the loves of his life and how to deal with them to the more random aspects of his mind as shown in his quotes
My girlfriend woke up next to me the other day and said "that's a bit much for a taxi"... I said "beg your pardon?" - she said "£50,000? That's a bit much"... I said "what the frigging hell are you talking about?" - she said "you just asked me what you should buy, a bus, a taxi or an ambulance!!"...

She still believes that she didn't dream it all and that I wasn't actually next to her looking at Teletext. What's up with that?
Why do I miss all of these adverts?! I'm sure we get "special telly".
Invasion of privacy I should think. It's illegal to hack, let alone intercept texts.
Random Crap was always his baby and as long as he is here it will live on

Is GG dead?
11. cal-neva – This fella was our resident scouser in London, god only knows how he ended up there maybe he had heard there were more opportunities for petty crime in our nations capital without getting caught. I believe he had his collar felt so many times up North that every copper within a 50 mile radius knew him. Admittedly when he was inside the local livestock could sleep easily at night without fear of being invaded. Here are some of the reasons this lad is no longer with us, hes not dead or owt hes just banned
So what exactly happened? did someone get banned? were people baiting Babs about his enormous bulk? or slagging CWright about his cueball head? What happened to lead things to this extremity?
Who the fuck are you??
Wonderful!! A CWright official comment on beastiality!! Its much more than we could have ever hoped for. what a glorious day. I'm actually gonna put that on my sig.
I think that towards the end of his time here he was losing the plot, some miss him and others don’t.

Honourable mentions also go out to Mart, Coopz, Kezz, Holio and Kenny M

Apologies to those I have missed out either through choice or the fact that my memory aint as good as it was, I cant remember everyone whos passed through these doors over the last 4 years but I think I have covered the major players.

Thanks for your time, goodnight.
 

CW

C Dub
Founding Member
6 October 2001
Liverpool
juventus11 said:
How could you Forget Milanista ..
CWright said:
Apologies to those I have missed out either through choice or the fact that my memory aint as good as it was
Get out of my face, knobjockey
 

hutch

Beaten by Chris Wright
5 January 2003
I'd have gone mental about not being on this list a year ago, but I'm prepared to let this go due to the fact that I don't want to be on the same list as that awful human being who they call Zico.
 
J

juventus11

Guest
Yeah I cant believe you forgot me Im angry now .. I think im going to go randome and call dominic Don Domenico11. :roll: :roll:
 
F

footieBalla

Guest
oh God, what have my eyes done to deserve to look at such an unnecessary comment... smite me now oh Lord

-fb
 

joostebrood

Premiership
4 March 2002
Chris forgot to mention the people who adviced him to make this beautiful thread. First of all I am proud to be in it, but he doesn't mention all the good I have done. It's too negative Chris. GG and I even told you this would be a good move. And no mention what so ever about that!

I have proof!
 

hutch

Beaten by Chris Wright
5 January 2003
hutch said:
I'd have gone mental about not being on this list a year ago, but I'm prepared to let this go due to the fact that I don't want to be on the same list as that awful human being who they call Zico.
I've changed my mind! Just like that! I'm crazy me.
It's in fact an utter disgrace that I'm not on that list. You know what I'm going to do about it Chris? DO YOU?
I'm going to assemble an all star Evo-Web 11 who were missed from that list and we will play your 11 at football. This is the team....

Big gay grim

Noted Babs Boro loz

Coopz MarkD Milanista Vanizzlefashizzal

ThomasGOAL

hutch (c)​

Apart from big gay grim in net, that's an unstoppable team. The consistently bad full backs in loz and Noted. Babs the destroyer at centre back with the young Peter Brock.
Coopz and Vann as the old school Beckham and Giggs of the team. MarkD in a Claude Makelele role, holding the side together when all is losing it's head. Milanista to do whatever he wants, only in the team because he's got money.
ThomasGOAL in the hole behind me (yes gay, don't even care. I'd take one for the boys off Thommo) in a Zidane role, confusing the defence with his unpredictability.
Then me up front. The Alan Shearer who will ultimately shatter your evo-web dreams Chris. You'll be screaming on the touchline as I bang in goal after goal past your team of rejects.
You'll shout,
"I'm sorry hutch lad! You can play for us! I didn't mean to do those horrible things to you! Come home!"
You knows it Christopher.
 
L

loz

Guest
lol, very good hutch.

Cant believe one of the original old skool members isnt on either list though . . .

and i'm not gona tell u who it is, i want you to guess!?!?!
 
L

loz

Guest
Well Mart should defo be on one of the lists, but he did get an honourable mention from Wrighty, so no!
 

Coopz

Retired Footballer
27 April 2002
hutch said:
I've changed my mind! Just like that! I'm crazy me.
It's in fact an utter disgrace that I'm not on that list. You know what I'm going to do about it Chris? DO YOU?
I'm going to assemble an all star Evo-Web 11 who were missed from that list and we will play your 11 at football. This is the team....

Big gay grim

Noted Babs Boro loz

Coopz MarkD Milanista Vanizzlefashizzal

ThomasGOAL

hutch (c)​

Apart from big gay grim in net, that's an unstoppable team. The consistently bad full backs in loz and Noted. Babs the destroyer at centre back with the young Peter Brock.
Coopz and Vann as the old school Beckham and Giggs of the team. MarkD in a Claude Makelele role, holding the side together when all is losing it's head. Milanista to do whatever he wants, only in the team because he's got money.
ThomasGOAL in the hole behind me (yes gay, don't even care. I'd take one for the boys off Thommo) in a Zidane role, confusing the defence with his unpredictability.
Then me up front. The Alan Shearer who will ultimately shatter your evo-web dreams Chris. You'll be screaming on the touchline as I bang in goal after goal past your team of rejects.
You'll shout,
"I'm sorry hutch lad! You can play for us! I didn't mean to do those horrible things to you! Come home!"
You knows it Christopher.

im glad i made the team
 
Last edited:
S

smango

Guest
it's a shame that so many of those members listed no longer post here. Much respect to them all.
 

fd1972uk

---------------------
9 January 2002
Glasgow
Celtic
Thanks for the mention. Can't really grumble about the assessment. :lol:

Although we'd wupp the ass off that team no sweat.


FD
 

EatonTJ

Why Today Doesn't Suck.
Staff
11 April 2002
I'd like to give a shout-out to cartoon drawing Hutch and the always loquacious Kofi-Annan.

Old School.
 

hutch

Beaten by Chris Wright
5 January 2003
EatonTJ said:
I'd like to give a shout-out to cartoon drawing Hutch and the always loquacious Kofi-Annan.

Old School.
Bollocks, I forgot about you. You can be in the "Not good enough for Chris Wright" football team too. You'll be in goal instead of Big Gay Grim. Mainly because he is Big and Gay, and you are not.
 

danwin

Oak Hard
1 December 2003
There's a lot to be said about being Big and Gay, I miss him and would like him reinstated in your team. There's a job that needs doing out there and I believe he is your man. HE IS YOUR MAN
 

hutch

Beaten by Chris Wright
5 January 2003
Balls to that. The team is now invincible with the agile American stopper now in place. The only weakpoints remain loz and Noted because they are also gay, but they will be replaced in the end of season transfer market when CW decides to offload another 2 of his stars.
 

danwin

Oak Hard
1 December 2003
I've seen the way you look at each other adoringly, it's nothing to be ashamed of John. It's natural, organic and a thing of beauty. You should embrace it. Love will only make your team stronger.
 
G

gunnerglory

Guest
Your team is growing in strength John but you don't have enough raw power on that field. Your strong point is definately babs, I like the way you placed him there in dead center of the defence, the rock in the middle.
 

EatonTJ

Why Today Doesn't Suck.
Staff
11 April 2002
gunnerglory said:
Your team is growing in strength John but you don't have enough raw power on that field. Your strong point is definately babs, I like the way you placed him there in dead center of the defence, the rock in the middle.
The problem with Babs in the center is that I might not be able to see around him to stop shots. Plus, he will likely give up a lot of deflections making my life much harder.
 
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