'Laugh Out Loud' Movie Lines

ClassicD

ClassicD

Galáctico
11 November 2001
Glasgow
Celtic
I was flickin thru the channels last night and turned onto 'The Hot Chick' just at the point he turns and says to the barman, "I need to go to the little girl's room, before I soak my panties". Didn't think much else of the film but that line was a corker, and I'm sure I've laughed at it sometime before too!

'Old School' was on a few nights ago as well and that has a few crackin' lines, the best of which are probably:

When they kidnap potential frat members and they jump out of a black van with nylon tights over their heads at the supermarket. Will Ferrell tells one guy's wife "If you tell anyone about this I'll fucking kill you".

"Blue you're my boy!"

"I can see Blue, he looks glorious!"

There are a load more but those are just from recent memory.
 
One of my favs is from The Usual Suspects. During a police identity line up, they're told to repeat a line which had been spoken during the robbery.

Fenster: (slightly garbled) hand me the keys you cocksucker.

Policeman: In English please!

Fenster: .....excuse me?

Policeman: In English!

Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys you cocksucker what da fa!

Benicio del Toro cracks me up in this one :mryellow: might just be me.
 
Brick out of Anchorman has some corking lines.

"Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store?"

Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
Brick Tamland: I don't know.

Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
 
Lone Starr: Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.
 
hutch said:
Brick out of Anchorman has some corking lines.

"Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store?"

Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
Brick Tamland: I don't know.

Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
Click to expand...

Brick has to be the best character ever created. I could listen to him all day.

Corningstone: No Brick I would not like to go to a party in your pants
Brick: OK LETS GO!
 
Ike said:
Lone Starr: Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.
Click to expand...

lmao.

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
 
Not really a line, but when the camera pans down to Gerry Fleck's (Eugene Levy's) 2 left feet in Best In Show has to be the hardest I've laughed at anything in any film.


Gerry Fleck: I said "I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!"
Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.
Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.

Gerry Fleck: The kids at school used to call me "loopy", because I'd walk round in little loops. After some therapy, I learnt how to walk in a straight line.

:lol:
 
Pete Clemenza: So you've shot them both in the head, now what do you do?
Michael Corleone: Sit down, finish my dinner
 
In Dumb and Dumber, when their flat has been ransacked and Pete the parakette has been murdered:

Lloyd: Whoah whats the matter Harry?
Harry: Well, you know my pet parakette Pete?
Lloyd: (Nods)
Harry: His head fell off!!
 
In Wild Wild West, (fuck off, I like it ;)), just before Jim West kills the guy with knives, he says:

"OK, no more Mr. Knife Guy"

:lol:
 
Tim7 said:
In Wild Wild West, (fuck off, I like it ;)), just before Jim West kills the guy with knives, he says:

"OK, no more Mr. Knife Guy"

:lol:
Click to expand...

LOL how cheesy
 
In the classic movie The Ref, where Dennis LEary takes a family hostage at Christmas and the widowed mother in law is a real bitch, he turns to her and says, "Hey lady, i got news for you. . your husband ain't dead. . he's hiding!" :applause:
 
Lots of lines from 'Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels' :

Rory Breaker: If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

Dog: I don't fucking believe this! Can everyone stop gettin' shot?

Edie : You could choke a dozen donkeys on that! And you're haggling over one hundred pound? What're you doing when you're not buying stereos Nick? Finance revolutions?

Loads more here : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120735/quotes

Also of course from Snatch too, but not as many.

Avi : Sit down and shut up, you big, bald fuck.

Customs official: Do you have anything to declare, sir?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

More again here : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208092/quotes

Cant think of anymore at the minute, but I'm sure more will come to my memory soon.
 
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