Mr T

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Executive Janitor
28 February 2002
Darlington FC
Some good 'uns among this lot, worth a read. :)

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.

Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person.If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.

In 1989, Mr. T systematically killed every member of the band "MR. MISTER" for stealing his first name.

On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.

It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Why does Mr. T still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't!

Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs.

Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?", Willis sh*t himself.

Mr. T doesn't feel pain; pain feels Mr. T

Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
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